


Found

by Sapphire_Princess



Series: Found and Timestamps [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Found Family, M/M, Post-Skyfall, Prompt Fill, Slow Burn, greif, set directly after skyfall, slow burn with lots of hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25316734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_Princess/pseuds/Sapphire_Princess
Summary: For the Prompt Fill: "Be glad you don't have a family, Bond."On his return from Skyfall, James Bond feels lost in a way he hasn't in years.M's words from their journey northward ring in his head and all he wants is a safe place to rest, so he lets his feet carry him right there.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: Found and Timestamps [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856440
Comments: 19
Kudos: 138
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	1. Safe

_“Be glad you don’t have a family, Bond.”_

M had said those words to him twice over the years. The first was an off-handed comment early on in his career when she was speaking to her niece on the phone as he came in for a debriefing.

He’d given his usual closed-mouthed small smile, nodded, and listened as she’d started the debrief.

It was the second that had turned one of the many cracks inside his heart into a fissure.

_Over the years he’d come to see MI6 and the people within as a family - dysfunctional, yes but what families aren’t? - but with a sense of camaraderie that kept many of them going._

_And James will never admit it out loud, but he’s come to see M as a fearsome Matriarch; she’s rarely kind and always stern but he loves her for it, as he thinks he would a mother or grandmother but she’d kill him herself for the last one._

_So he’d not minded Silva’s comments about their mother’s terrible behaviour towards them - James knows his life is in her hands because that’s the job. And she’s sacrificed him before but never for nothing._

_But whilst they’d been in the car on their journey to his estate she’d said it again with such sincerity. “Be glad you don’t have a family, Bond.”_

_“Yes M’am,” he'd said and ignored the pain that shot through his heart; she meant it as a comfort, not a pain and he pushed it away to see it as such._

_“They only cause trouble, even when you’re not related. That he could twist things in his mind to see me as his… no. It’s not the way of things. Stay apart from things, Bond.”_

Now, he’s sat in a helicopter, smelling of disinfectant and dressed in the replacement clothing the MI6 team had put him in. His ears are still ringing and his hands - hidden under a blanket - are shaking.

Despite everything he’d done he hadn’t been able to save her and although the threat Silva posed is gone it's left him empty.

M may not have called him family but he’d cared, all the same, fought fiercely to save her life and in the end, it wasn’t good enough.

Bill greets him when he gets back to MI6, takes him down to the showers wordlessly and pats him on the shoulder. 

James cleans himself with the methodical ingrained practice borne of decades of mere minutes of hot water.

He dries off and applies more of the cream and bandages he’s been left along with a - thankfully - loose-fitting suit.

The last 24 hours are rapidly catching up with him but he doesn’t want to face it yet.

So Bond wanders through the new pathways of MI6, bright white walls giving way to plain but swept and sign-posted tunnels.

His feet take him into Q Branch, the walls bright but the lights dimmed. There are people everywhere but they give him nods of acknowledgement as he walks through.

“Bond?”

He looks up to see Q in a fresh set of clothes and a different cardigan. His eyes have a frantic glint in them and there are bags around his eyes.

“Q,” he says neutrally. Now he’s here he finds he doesn’t want to be sent away.

The other man surprises him, meeting his eyes and almost asking permission to keep doing so.

James allows it; already feeling so hollow and worn out that he doesn’t care what Q sees. 

“Come with me,” Q says, turning and leading James through the main computer room, down the spiral stairs, and into a quieter area.

It’s the server room; the quiet hum of the racks behind them and the chill of the air-con shouldn’t be comforting but they are.

There’s a young woman sat cross-legged in the corner of the racks; a laptop balanced across her knees, dyed red curly hair in a high ponytail.

“Bond, meet R, R this is James Bond.”

She puts the laptop on the floor and comes over to them, offering her hand.

“I think we’ve met,” James says, taking it.

“We have but there wasn’t time for introductions.” She gives him a kind smile and gestures to the low-table that’s been set up with tea, coffee, and snacks.

There are also four camp beds set up with blankets and pillows - probably from the emergency supplies that were offered to them by the armed forces.

“Make yourself something to drink, get comfy and I’ll be back in a bit,” Q tells him. He puts his hand on Bond’s shoulder for what must be a fraction of a second but feels like so much longer.

“Milk is in the mini-fridge,” R says, then goes back to her computer. “You can use any of the laptops on the other table, by the way.”

“Thanks.” James makes himself a coffee. “Do you want anything?” he notices the R scrabble mug on the small table next to Q’s. They’re both clean but he doesn’t see a sink - which would be a terrible idea with the servers anyway.

“Earl grey please, milk no sugar.”

“The same for Q?”

“Yup.”

He makes himself useful, putting R’s mug near enough for her to reach but away from her laptop.

“Thank you, much appreciated.”

“Anything else I can do to help?”

R looks up at him. “If you mean that, yeah. Grab a laptop.”

James does and sits next to R as she talks him through some of the more menial things she’s doing in order to prepare the network.

It’s certainly repetitive but it’s nothing James can’t handle so he gets on with it.

***

Q comes back down a few minutes later and notices his tea immediately.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” James replies, typing the lines of code R has shown him and double-checking it’s correct before continuing. He knows the short-cuts now but it’s best to make sure.

“I see R has already put you to work down here,” says Q, grabbing a cushion and sitting himself down, opening up what must he his own laptop to put on a fold-out table he’s also brought with him. “There’s a few more just up the stairs but I couldn’t carry any more,” he explains. “Mallory is running interference for us with the PM, along with Eve. Tanner is… I think he’s making sure people eat. He dropped off sandwiches upstairs. Those I did bring down.”

“I’ll get the tables.”

“I can-” R starts to say but James is already stood. “Least I can do.”

Q watches him make his way up the stairs and looks to R for some kind of explanation. She shrugs but looks to where James was sat with a worried look on her face.

James comes back down and sets up a table for himself and R, putting the laptop on top of it and getting back on with things.

Q decides not to ask, given Bond hasn’t offered any sort of explanation himself and seems determined to get on with the tasks R sets him.

He can’t help but carefully glance over at him from time-to-time but all he sees is someone focussing on what’s in front of them.

Q can relate to that. He imagines his entire Branch can. Mallory had taken him to one side to let him know that M was on record as having ordered him to access Silva’s computer so he needn’t worry… but he does because surely, surely he should have known better or come up with another way.

But there hadn’t been any time; Silva had guessed all of their actions, must even know about him - given those were his protocols, after all. 

So this is what he’s doing now - upgrading and overhauling the whole system. He didn’t ask any of his people to put in the hours he is, but R had said she’s not going anywhere and almost everyone else is either staying or have worked out shifts.

They all feel the guilt in one way or another; of not being prepared - even though that was the whole point of the trap.

There’s a call from the top of the stairs and Q goes to stand but R shakes her head.

“It’s fine, you went last time. I’ll go. Bond, continue on with what you’re doing then have Q check it over, kay?” Then she’s up and out, dashing up the stairs.

James watches her go. “I didn’t think there was that much caffeine in the tea.”

Q chuckles. “There isn’t, but she only woke up a couple of hours ago. We’re staggering our shifts.”

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Bond asks, not unkindly.

“Probably. But there’s been so much for me to sort out. R only slept because I insisted.”

“I know that feeling,” Bond says, meeting his eyes then.

“Would you rest if I suggested it?”

“No. Even if I tried I couldn’t shut down.”

“Alright. But as welcome as you are here, you can always use one of the cots behind us.”

James nods but turns back to his computer.

“Bond?”

“Yes, Q?”

“Would you like a sandwich?”

James smiles. “If you’re offering.”

***

James does whatever it is he’s capable of doing, hidden away in the surprisingly comfortable atmosphere of the server room.

Q only comments once that he’s much better at this than his file suggests, but otherwise works on the things he has to do - James isn’t anywhere near his level, after all.

Or R’s, but this isn’t his job; he only knows what he needs to do his work properly. No agent worth their salt ignores technology or advancements.

R seems happy enough with their progress and as such is finally able to convince Q to sleep. He heads off to the showers first - they happen to be along the corridor and are actually very nice - and comes back in SIS issue sweatpants and tee shirt.

He looks so different, but so much the same, and James finds himself smiling at the sight.

Q collapses down in his cot and passes out into a deep sleep, his body unmoving for the six hours he manages.

James has tea waiting for him once he’s brushed his teeth, R throws him some breakfast biscuits before updating him on their progress.

“I’ll head to the meeting with Mallory. I’ll be back in a couple of hours, then you should get some sleep,” he tells R, and accepts a hug from her. There’s something so familiar between them that makes the fissure in James’ heartache.

He stares at the screen until he senses R approach. She places a mug next to him and an open packet of jaffa cakes.

“Q is my brother,” she says softly. 

“I-”

“It’s okay, I know it’s strange to see affection here, well not Q Branch here, but you know what I mean.” Her smile is warm. “I know things are shitty right now and I know you’ve lost someone close to you but you don’t have to be alone, which, it seems like you’ve already figured out, given you’re here.” She cocks her head to the side. “But you can keep being here. Q trusts you and so do I.”

“Thank you, R.”

“You’re welcome, James. But try and get some sleep soon okay?”

“I slept in the helicopter.”

R chuckles. “With respect, 007, I know you passed out. Not the same thing.”

***

James had been herded into bed by R an hour later but he doesn’t fall asleep until Q comes back and he can hear the two of them chatting quietly as they work.

When he wakes sometime later, R is tucked up in one of the other cots, her wet hair on a towel-wrapped pillow.

“You’ve been out for about ten hours,” Q tells him. “I’ll make you some coffee and there’s pastries from wherever Tanner sources them. Go clean up, they’ll be waiting for you.”

James does, thankful for the vast availability of SIS sweats. He doesn’t really feel like wearing anything more formal.

Q is sitting at the drinks table, a fresh mug of coffee waiting for him. Q himself is eating a croissant and sipping at his mug of tea.

“Things are coming along well, we’ve got most of the new infrastructure implemented but there’s still some more to do to have it function properly.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’ve written an entirely new operating system within a few days?”

Q chuckles. “It probably seems that way. We were working on a lot of this before but due to some… budget issues and other complications, it’s taken until now for us to implement it.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Just a bit,” Q agrees.

“Too many exploding pens?”

“Ah, you picked up on that?” Q shakes his head. “Metaphor I suppose. Impressive technology but prone to accidental detonation. Not particularly efficient.”

“No, I suppose not. The gun was excellent, by the way. Saved my life.”

“I saw the footage. Can’t say I’m pleased it was eaten by an actual dragon but it did what it was supposed to. I’ll make you another one.”

“Much appreciated. Don’t suppose you could swing for a car as well?”

Q laughs and it sounds real, possibly the first time he’s heard such a thing in days.

“We’ll see what happens to our budget when this whole situation has been filtered through bureaucrats. Although I think with Mallory’s help we’ll get what we need,” Q explains.

“You like him.”

“I do. He found out what we were doing, with the breadcrumbs, and not only approved it he stuck his neck out for us.”

“Good. I think I misjudged him but he took a bullet for…” he swallows. “He helped us escape and bought her more time.”

“Bond,” Q says very quietly. “I know it’s much too soon but should you want to talk or just to sit in silence I’m here, R as well. And if you want some time to yourself I’ll give you the access code to my office upstairs.”

James frowns in concentration. “Q?” That’s a lot of trust.

Q’s smile is kind. “There really isn’t that much in here. A few more changes of clothes, a supply of tea, and a whole drawer of emergency rations.”

“Depends what you mean by emergency rations.”

“Chocolate, mostly. And actual emergency rations.”

“I’m impressed.”

Q laughs again, being careful to keep quiet enough so R isn’t woken up. “I suppose Q Branch is filled with people used to emergency all-nighters, if not now then certainly at uni. And there’s always emergency repairs for the mechanics as well.”

“Busy place.”

“True.”

Silence falls between them and James eats, letting conversation pick back up as they talk of random things, who they know in MI6, and their favourite places to eat in London.

“How long do you think you’ll all be here?” James asks.

“A few more days before things can start to get back to normal, or how they need to be to help us get back on our feet again.”

“Am I keeping you from anything?” James asks.

Q shakes his head. “No, things are compiling and it’ll beep when it’s ready, plus everyone upstairs knows I’m here if they need me. And I need to take a break.”

“Too much code?”

“It’s all I see when I close my eyes.”

“I can imagine,” James says.

“I’m surprised you don’t.”

“No, I…” he swallows.

“Shit, Bond. I’m sorry.” Q looks horrified.

“No, it’s. It’s okay,” Bond reassures him.

“It isn’t,” Q says carefully. “But it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

James wonders if maybe Q is more well-adjusted because he has a sister he’s close to, a sister who works along side him. M’s words still haunt him and he knows Q is probably misinterpreting whatever it is he’s feeling right now.

“Bond?”

“You can call me James.”

“James?” Q says, a look of genuine concern in his eyes.

He looks around them then says very quietly. “She died even after all we did. I couldn’t save her.” He swallows hard. “She was in my arms, Q.” He doesn’t want to think about just how much he trusts this new Quartermaster that he’ll tell him things he can’t find the words to tell others.

Q meets his eyes. “I’m so sorry, James.” His voice so full of quiet, genuine concern; he probably realises how rare it is for an agent to talk this openly to anyone. “I know you did everything you could have done but still, I’m sorry it wasn’t enough.”

James nods, closing his eyes and looking away to make sure he doesn’t cry.

“James?” he asks, suddenly sounding nervous. “If R was awake she’d probably offer you a hug and I know you might not want that but I will too.”

Something about how earnestly Q says it, how open and genuine his offer is, swells in James’ throat and fills his eyes with tears.

James is so really fucking tired of being an island, and he’s just lost the ground he stood on, the world he knew.

So he nods. 

Q shuffles round the table and holds out his arms to him and James falls into him. He’s held by lithe, strong arms that wrap around him securely and hold on.

And James, James lets go of the ruthless restraints he’s had on everything the past few days have brought. Within moments he knows there are tears running down his face but he buries it in Q’s shoulder.

Completely undignified and doing nothing at all for his reputation but he just doesn’t care about that when there’s comfort aplenty from this man, his Quartermaster, and friend. So he holds on and on and on.

***

Q is flawed but he stays steady, brushing his fingers through James’ hair and rubbing his back.

He knows grief, knows the pain of loss, and is moved by the trust Bond has in him to let himself cry.

Part of him knows it’s probably the sheer exhaustion and a friendly face but James came to Q Branch when he could have gone anywhere.

Only he can’t go anywhere, can he.

Bond doesn’t have a flat anymore, or a life to return to. Still, there are hotel rooms for them, put aside in strategically safe locations nearby that he easily could have gone to, or wherever he’d stayed when he’d first gotten back to London.

Unsure of what to do with or about that information he’s still moved by Bond’s choices - of him sitting with R and helping them when he’s already done so much more than any of the rest of them could.

Maybe it was his way of staying sane; being in the most familiar place to him in this new version of their world?

Whatever it was, Q wasn’t going to back away from it, from James. He’d trusted Q after one brief encounter and that wasn’t _nothing_.

He had a feeling it was huge for James, and maybe he’ll find a way to tell him it was for him too. But not now, right now his friend needs him.

***

“I’m so-”

“Please don’t apologise,” Q says. “It’s just SIS issue. I have others literally right there.” He gestures to his cot. 

James still goes and fetches it, looking away when Q takes off his shirt to replace it with the spare. He puts a jumper on too, the cold of the room probably now more noticeable now they’re not sharing body heat.

“Still, Q…”

“I offered because you’re my friend, a recent development granted, but so is my appointment as Q and that’s apparently here to stay.”

James accepts this but doesn’t tell him that he can count his friends on one hand and Felix is so far away and busy that they rarely get time to talk outside of emails.

He’ll likely have one waiting for him. Felix was the only person Bond had notified he wasn’t actually dead… well, he’d sent a postcard to M but he still doesn’t know what she thought of that.

“James?”

His pain must show on his face because Q’s look of genuine concern is back.

“I don’t know how to talk about it.”

“With me?”

“With anyone. Not about this.”

“Alright,” Q says somehow both soft and firm. “What do you need in the meantime?”

He wants to make a quip about the drink and drugs he’d been relying on, the sex he’d lost himself in but he was running from himself then. This is… loss and grief and pain and the humanity he’d tried to escape after Vesper.

“Keep me busy?”

“That won’t be a problem. How are you with physical wiring?”

“Usually I’m very good at dismantling it.”

“That’ll work.” 

***

“Q? Oh, 007, good to see you,” Mallory says when he notices James is at the top of a ladder, wires coiled on hooks next to him.

Mallory’s arm is still in its sling and he doesn’t seem to have shaved for a few days but he otherwise looks well put-together, if exhausted.

Q pops his head down through the panel they’ve removed from the grating.

“Sir?” he asks.

Mallory, who looks between them with what can only be called a fondness, says. “The PM is satisfied with the evidence we’ve presented. Your predecessor has accepted quiet retirement as well as the blame for his refusal to update where needed.”

James frowns. “I thought the previous Q was killed in the explosion.”

“He wasn’t,” Q says sternly. “And he didn’t appoint an R either.” He goes back to his wiring, so Mallory moves closer to the ladder in order to continue the conversation.

“Q is correct. M appointed Q after the former quietly left in shame, although I hope it’s a retirement wracked with guilt.”

James raises his eyebrows at Mallory’s frank honesty.

“Is he why you weren’t ever allowed to improve things?” James asks Q.

“Yes. Can you pass me the green cable?” James does and Q continues. “Thank you, obviously there were the budget concerns but he was a tad stuck in his ways. Which is a shame considering how excellent his predecessor had been.”

“On that note, I managed to secure everything you asked for in your budget, plus a couple of other things. Eve helped me make my case so you’re good for now. Send your expenses through to accounting and they’ll authorise it; I’ve sent you a copy of the agreement.”

“Much appreciated, Mallory. Thank you.”

“Considering I think we’re only standing thanks to the efforts of you both, it’s the least I could do,” Mallory explains.

James turns to him then, something occurring to him. “I wouldn’t sell yourself short, Mallory, it sounds as though you, Eve, and Bill have been busy.”

“As I said, least we can do. I’ll make sure you’re all fed but let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be in Eve’s office for now.”

“Thank you, sir,” Q calls down, popping his head back through for a moment before getting back to his work.

“That goes for you, too, 007. I’m aware you’ll need to sort out a more permanent place of residence soon so I’m going to scope out what can be made available.”

“Appreciated, thank you.”

Mallory leaves after giving him a friendly nod and small wave.

***

“R?”

“Hmmhmm?” She’s still busy typing away so he gives her a moment to finish up. 

“Are you okay with…” Q tips his head in the direction of the showers.

R smiles ruefully at him. “Of course I am. I’d have discreetly found somewhere else to sleep if I wasn’t. Isobel and co would let me crash with them.” She studies him carefully. “But it matters that I like him, doesn’t it.”

Q closes his eyes for a moment and takes a breath. “Yes. It does.”

R is nodding when he braves a look at her. “Q.” Hearing that title is both so new and strange from his sister (and all-around best friend). “No one is a perfect judge of character, we can both attest to that, but he’s trustworthy. And he’s just lost someone who meant a lot to him, who was perhaps the only constant in his life for years.”

“I want to be here for him but I don’t want to go overboard.”

R puts down her laptop and scoots over to her brother. “You’re not. James is clearly hurting but I don’t think he’s here just because he had nowhere else to go; he’s here because he needed a friend. And sadly his line of work doesn’t allow him many of those. He’s not taking advantage if that’s what’s on your mind.”

“I don’t want it to be.”

“Small niggling doubt is always the worst,” R agrees. “But he’s genuine about this, about you.”

“And you,” Q adds.

“Well, yeah. But he came here to see you first.”

Q nods and R leans into him. “You very clearly need a hug, come on.” 

He holds on tightly to his sister; a constant that he knows how lucky he is to have in his life and his work. A career is espionage is much more manageable when you have someone you know you can trust completely.

All in all, James spends the next few days doing whatever Q and R ask him to, even letting them convince him to sleep from time to time. He ends up on a schedule between the two of them and the sheer exhaustion helps him to sleep better than he has in a while.

The sound of heels coming down the spiral stairs draws his attention; as far as he’s noticed, everyone in Q branch wears flats or small heels that don’t make the same sound.

“Mallory told me you were down here but I needed to see for myself.”

“Eve,” he greets once she’s at the base of the stairs. She’s impeccably dressed underneath the cardigan he suspects is for warmth.

“James.” She comes to sit across from him where he’s having lunch. “Q really must trust you if you’re alone down here with one of his laptops.”

“He gave me basic admin access too,” he says, hoping this isn’t going to be a conversation filled with casual barbs because he likes Eve, he does, but he’s grown used to the quiet sincerity of Q Branch - and even Mallory and Tanner when they visit. Friendly banter is going to take him a bit longer with people he doesn’t know as well.

“Well,” she says, her tone changing to match his. “Your work hasn’t gone unnoticed.” The smile she offers is genuine and he thinks perhaps she hadn’t known quite how to approach him, which is fair enough. “And we’re grateful.”

“So am I.” He glances around at the room that’s become something of a base for him.

“This is what we do though isn’t it? Protect and care for our own?” she asks.

James shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“It should be, and it looks like it will be again. M had been doing her best for years, more than most of us even suspected, but if we don’t look after each other we’re an easy target. Silva knew that.”

James closes his eyes and sees the chapel, M in his arms as the life left her.

“I’m sorry,” Eve says. “I didn’t mean to…”

“No. No, it’s fine. It’s good to see another friendly face.”

“I know what you mean.” He’s sure she does, given how many idiots in Whitehall she’s had to suffer in the past few days.

“Everything okay upstairs?”

“Oh, yes. Mostly. We’ve briefed the CIA and the French, giving them the names they need and as much intel as we gathered from the back-end of Silva’s servers. We have the Japanese to thank for that.”

“Good to know we still have allies.”

Eve’s smile is friendly. “Isn’t it.”

“There’s spare mugs if you want something to drink, and more pastries that we can finish if you were planning on staying around?”

“For a bit, yes. I don’t suppose there’s a spare cot I could use?”

“The only one not piled with clothes, no one has used it as far as I know. Do you need me to help you get it up the stairs?”

“Ah. I was actually hoping you’d let me nap down here? Mallory and Bill are in my office in a meeting with some department or another and it’s too much effort to go home.” She pauses then looks at him. “That’s not why I came down here, I was going to see you then find somewhere else but as you’ve got one going free?”

“You’re welcome to it.”

“Excellent.” She smiles. “Oh, I keep forgetting that we’ve never actually been properly introduced.”

James tilts his head as he thinks. “No, we haven’t have we.”

“Well, I’m Eve Moneypenny, and it’s nice to meet you, James.”

“The same to you, Miss Moneypenny. I’ve heard people mention that you were helping Mallory but I thought they meant someone else.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you so you’d let me sleep if anyone comes looking for me.”

James chuckles. “Unless it’s an emergency I won’t.”

“Good. Now, where are those pastries.”

***

Q comes down with R in tow to find Eve asleep on the spare cot and James coming back with the cleaned mugs and cutlery. 

“Everything’s sorted and waiting for your approval,” James tells him, keeping his voice low. “Eve needed somewhere to nap between meetings,” he says by way of explanation.

“That’s fine.” Q glances over at his friend once more before sitting down at his laptop and going over James’ work. He approves it and starts compiling. They’re almost there, which means that a great deal of the needed work has been done. But also their time together down here is coming to a close.

As much as he misses his bed and home-cooked meals, he’s enjoyed getting to know his Branch better, and James better. He hopes that Bond knows how welcome he will always be in Q Branch and that he has friends here but only time will tell.

R makes them tea and coffee and they sit quietly together, exhausted but united in a job well done.

“You should sleep,” James tells him, nudging his arm for the fifth time in as many minutes.

“I’m trying to get back on a normal schedule. Ten minutes of daylight a day really isn’t very good for you, no matter the supplements provided.”

“No, it really isn’t. What time is it anyway?”

R looks at her watch. “Seven in the evening. I’m going to get a shower and then I think I’ll reacquaint myself with my cot.”

James stands with her and gives her a hug, a habit he’s developed over the days spent together. Q does the same then settles back with James as R gathers her things and heads to the shower rooms.

“Have you found anywhere?” Q asks.

“To move into? Possibly but they’re all… soulless. Even the nicer ones Mallory has found. I miss my old flat. It was actually mine so Six can’t exactly force anyone out of it. And they got a good price.”

“If they haven’t given you access to your funds I’ll do it first thing,” he offers.

James shakes his head. “Mallory handed everything over to me, and the key to a hotel suite for the meantime, whenever I want to start using it.”

“Good to know. If it helps, and I’m not suggesting we become flatmates, but I’m looking for somewhere too.”

“Oh?”

“I can’t keep living with R now that we’ve been promoted, so she’ll keep the flat we’ve been sharing and I… well, I might actually buy somewhere, a mortgage of course, even on a Quartermaster’s wage you can’t just out-right buy a house in London. But it might be nice to own somewhere.”

“It is,” James agrees and Q’s heart twinges.

“Was that insensitive of me?” he asks.

“No, not at all. It’s a shame you can’t keep living with your sister, especially since you seem to actually get along.”

Q smiles. “We do. We’re enough years apart in age that we didn’t squabble. I was a tad overprotective at times and she, well, it was adorable to have her follow me around when we were little. It was nice to have someone who looked up to me. Which now I’ve said it feels like an over-share.”

“No, it’s fine. I had a step-brother once and it wasn’t anything like that but it’s good to know it can be.”

Q can’t help but turn to him in question. “Had?” he asks carefully.

“He murdered his father and tried to kill me. Ended up in a French prison.”

“Is he still there?”

“No, he was killed in a fight. Tried to get to the top of the pyramid and the other inmates didn’t like it.”

“Shit. The world is awful sometimes,” Q says, wishing his tired mind would excise some caution before saying things out loud.

James seems surprised by his response but doesn’t press. “It is,” he says instead. “It really is.”

He’s not sure whether or not it’s a conscious choice but the two of them end up pressed together from shoulder to ankle and Q can’t bring himself to move away.

“I won’t tell if you decide to have a quick nap.”

“That depends how serviceable your shoulder is.”

“I’d imagine it’s perfectly serviceable,” James says very quietly, a shy sincerity in his voice.

Q lets his head drop onto it and closes his eyes. “It is. Please don’t let me sleep for more than half an hour.”

James huffs out a quiet laugh. “I won’t.”

He wakes Q right on time and sends him off to the showers.

***

It isn’t until later, when Eve has thanked them and returned upstairs, and R is fast asleep in her cot, that James sits himself down next to Q, handing him a fresh mug of tea. That, he’s noticed, is currency around here; hot beverages are a way to say you care and there’s rarely a situation not improved by them.

“I know we probably only have another night or two here and, Q, I wanted to say thank you.”

“Well, you’re welcome, James. Although you’ve been a big help, I’m pleased we were able to make things a little easier.”

“You have.” Q sips his tea then turns to James. “I’m exhausted so forgive how this sounds but I’m so glad you’re a decent human being.”

James, taken aback by that can’t help but say, “Q?” as though it asks all his questions at once.

“I’d seen your record and read a couple of reports before meeting you and I was hoping you’d be receptive to me as the new Q.”

“You seemed perfectly confident at the gallery.”

“Yes, well. I knew I was the best we had, and R and Tanner gave me a pep talk before I met you." 

“Of course they did,” James says fondly. “I was given instructions of where to sit and nothing else.”

“Probably Bill’s way of giving me the element of surprise. But, it helped. I knew afterward I could trust you to meet me in the middle, to find our common ground. I’ve rarely liked anyone so quickly.”

“As true as that is for me, I’ll admit to wanting to ask you out to dinner.”

“Actual dinner?”

“Yes, Q. Actual dinner with real conversation and good food,” he says fondly.

Q is quiet but he seems to be waiting for whatever else James wants to say. 

“That’s not why I came here.”

Q laughs at that, covering his mouth to block the sound. “It never crossed my mind, not this time anyway.” He holds his mug in both his hands, staring down into its contents. “If this had gone better, if we hadn’t lost what we have, please know I’d have been amenable.”

James’ heart sinks. “Understandable.”

“What I mean is, I’d still like to, really I would, but I don’t know where you are with everything at the moment and I can be your friend, but I can’t be your…” he sighs. “I don’t want to presume anything but I like you and I’m not opposed to seeing where thing could go.”

“But not right now.”

Q sighs. “Unfortunately not, no. I don’t want anything with us to cause you more pain in the long run or ruin our chance.”

“That’s… oddly comforting, actually,” James says, finding he means it.

He hears Q putting down his mug and looks up when he feels his hand on his shoulder.

“Come here,” Q says, wrapping his arms around James and holding him close once more.

James squeezes his eyes shut against the sudden onslaught of tears and the burning in his throat, bringing his arms up and around Q and letting himself bask in the man’s warmth.


	2. Sound

“Sir?” Bond knocks on the door to Eve’s office, which is being used by the three people currently running MI6 because no one can bring themselves to use M’s.

“Ah, Bond, come in,” Mallory says in greeting. “Take a seat.”

“Thank you.”

“What brings you up here?”

“A question, which I want to stay private so it doesn’t look like I’m interfering.”

“In my experience, that means you might be in the future but I’ll allow it,” he says kindly. “For as long as I’m here.”

James frowns. “If you need recommendations to stay, sir, I’m sure you could have a few dozen by this afternoon.”

Mallory smiles. “Thank you, Bond. Tanner, Q, and Moneypenny have already submitted them so it’s a matter of waiting and seeing, but I’m here in the meantime so how can I help?”

***

James isn’t sure if what he’d asked was a good idea or not, especially when he comes back down to find Q and R with a platter of sushi on the table and a table setting for him.

The warmth in his chest isn’t just at the sight of his friends; his eyes linger on Q a little too long for someone who knows they shouldn’t.

“James,” Q greets him, standing and gesturing for him to come over. 

“We’re celebrating finally finishing everything,” R says, but James can see that both their eyes are red-rimmed.

She lets him pull her in for a big hug but is quiet when she sits back down.

Q gives him a knowing look over R’s shoulder as James grabs a jumper to pull on over his shirt.

“I might have something else for you to celebrate, but it’s up to you.”

“Hmm?” R bites her lip and looks at him questioningly.

Q seems both intrigued and wary.

“I didn’t want to overstep but you’ve been so kind so I asked Mallory if it would be possible for you to both stay living together. He had a rather unique solution, depending on what you think about it. And it’s not so much a permanent long-term solution, but there’s a flat below you that’s for sale and it’s being held overnight.”

Q looks straight at him. “James…”

“The added security of an agent in your building… especially a Double O, would mean that you’d be able to stay living there for at least another six months.”

“Why only six months?” R asks.

Q, though, has already worked it out. “Because that’s how long rehabilitation takes,” he says quietly. “Bond… you don’t have to…”

James, though, smiles at him. “I know but I need somewhere to live and it looks like it would be best to get some of my more long-term injuries seen to before I get back out into the field again.”

“But to buy a flat-”

“I’m not. Technically MI6 is. Apparently we’re overdue for a new acquisition and it’s in the same building as yours so you can refit the security systems to your liking.”

R looks so excited she’s practically vibrating and Q, Q looks so very pleased James can’t help but smile back.

“Your downstairs neighbours had been trying to rent out the empty flat beneath you for a rather exorbitant price and listed it a month ago, with the same hope, on the market.”

“James I don’t know what to say.” R’s smile is watery and wonderful so he opens his arms to her and hugs her until her breathing settles down to normal.

Q, lovely, brilliant, Q is watching him with tenderness and James feels his grip on his emotions slip, this time with a warmth he doesn’t quite have words for.

“You could stay with us in the meantime,” Q offers softly. “Our sofa is more comfortable than these cots.”

“Only if that wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“It wouldn’t,” Q says. “As long as you’re not allergic to cats.”

James laughs and shakes his head. Why doesn’t Q having cats surprise him?

***

Later that night Eve and Mallory make their way down the spiral staircase. 

“Bill sends his regards but he’s gone home to his family,” Mallory says. “Well, his other family, as he put it.” He and the others share a look of understanding and James, well, James is startled by it.

“You know that Bill has a wife and children, surely?” Eve asks, trying to sound casual but there’s concern in her expression.  
James nods and is grateful when Mallory says, “It has been a long… week? I’m not sure anymore.”

“None of us are,” Eve agrees, slipping off her shoes.

All around headquarters small groups of people are having a similar get-together, there’s movies in a couple of places and a games night too but this is where they want to be.

Mallory sits down next to R, the two of them falling into easy conversation.

“R has been working with him and Eve to set up secure network access,” Q supplies, helping James unpack their food. “Plus, she met him a few years ago when Mallory was appointed head of an investigation committee; R was chosen to be their expert so they know each other.”

“Oh.” 

Eve chuckles. “It’s non-field agent work,” she supplies to James. “Which I’ve decided to do on a more permanent basis.”

“Anyone who goes against you is in for a battle, then.”

“Coming from you that’s a compliment.”

He and Eve clink their mugs.

“Rather you than me, Eve. You’ll be talking to the worst kinds of people. At least I only have to work with their systems, and James is allowed to shoot them,” Q says.  
The two laugh.

It draws the attention of Mallory and R.

“When do you find out, sir?” James asks Mallory.

“Probably some time next week, they’ll want to make me nervous in the meantime.”

“They can try.”

“Thank you, Bond. Appreciated.”

Q gives James a warm smile as they settle down to eat.

***  
R is asleep, curled up with her head on Mallory’s lap on her cot. It’s against the wall and it looks like he is likely asleep as well; he’d be more comfortable if they’d been brave enough to share but James can tell Mallory’s wariness comes from both his position and his own sense of propriety.

Eve is likewise asleep in ‘her’ cot, leaving Bond and Q the only ones still awake, although that’s because they’d insisted on finishing cleaning up.

Q comes to stand next to him, surveying the scene before them.

“Asking R about her and Mallory will get you a shrug and absolutely nowhere,” Q offers.

“Ah.”

“But they do make sure to cross each others paths as much as possible, which won’t have anything to do with his presence here - I know because I checked, but they’ve been orbiting each other like this for three years.” Q sounds… James isn’t sure what to make of the wistful melancholy emanating from him but he doesn’t move away when Q comes to rest against him. Not leaning, just there.

“James…” he says so quietly it only just carries over the hum of the servers Bond only notices at night.

“Q?”

“Would you…” He sighs heavily, his eyes closed. 

“Ask,” James tells him, just as soft.

“I could really do with a hug.”

James lifts his arm and turns Q so that they stand chest-to-chest, held in each other's arms. He feels the tension drain out of Q and James finds he feels more at peace. That warmth in this chest that has been brewing all evening - alongside the attraction he feels for the man in his arms - is bigger now, seeming to encompass the entire room; as though he can’t out-run it.

Or, maybe, it’s a safe-zone. It’s been such a very long time since he felt like this.

Wordlessly he and Q push their cots closer together, it helps to give M some room on the floor - they even use the spare blankets to make a bed for him that won’t be uncomfortable to sleep on (if he uses it)- but really it’s so that even though they’re sleeping in separate beds and not touching, their hands can rest together until they fall asleep.

***  
_“James, it’s good to hear from you. How’re you holding up?”_

“Better than I expected,” James tells Felix, though the bar for his version of expected is very low.

_“Good to hear, my friend. Just so you know I can take a few days off to come over if you need it. I know what M was to you.”_

James closes his eyes against his friend’s sincerity. “I’m not sure she’d want me at her funeral.”

_“Do you want to go?”_

“Maybe. I’m not sure. But I’m going to be staying with some friends until my new flat is ready so you wouldn’t be able to stay with me.”

_“That’s not a problem, not a lack of hotels in London.”_

“No, true.”

_“So. Should I book flights?”_

James hesitates. Not because he doesn’t want his oldest (best) friend with him, but because it is so much to ask.

_“When’s the funeral?” Felix prompts, taking silence as an answer._

“A week on Tuesday.”

_“I’ll be there the Sunday before and I’ll forward the flight details.”_

“Felix…”

_“Don’t tell me I don’t have to, James. The only reason I wasn’t at your funeral is because I knew you weren’t really dead. She must have known too.”_

“Maybe. Maybe not.”  
_“Camille went, you know.”_  
“  
Shit.”

_“I’d put her next on your list, brother.”_

“Will do.” _shit_ , James thought. It wasn’t as if they kept in contact much but she was still a friend, enough that she’d bothered to show up to his funeral. “I’ll meet you at the airport.”

***

Q, it turns out, has gone to the trouble of bringing James’ cot back to his flat, added a more comfortable mattress topper and set it up in the main living room of the flat that includes the kitchen. He’s also moved the cabinet usually (if the depressions in the carpet are any indication) next to the sofa so that James has somewhere to put his things and charge his phone. The drawers are all ready full but there’s storage space underneath the cot anyway and it’s not as though James has much anyway.

Tanner had brought him a few suits and other clothes from wherever his things are currently stored, along with his laptop and a couple of books.

It means that when he sets himself up in his corner of the room it feels more his.

“I’ve ordered the same coffee with have in Branch, given you seemed to like it, and the coffee maker is next to the toaster. I had it delivered this afternoon.

“And you have the towels and things. You can use the main bathroom, the ensuite is in R’s room anyway, you can put your things wherever there’s space.”

James already knew there was, Q and R kept their flat pretty well organised. There’s also a pretty impressive cat-run set up in the entrance hall and the main room.

“Anything important I need to know?”

Q turns to him. “You know our real names, on the rare occasion we have friends or family here, use them. Otherwise our titles are fine.”

“I meant more house rules.”

“Clean up after yourself, ask if you can’t find anything and unless our doors are open, know before opening.”

James nods. “Seems more than fair.”

***

Life with Q and R is pretty similar to what it had already been in Q Branch, only they go to separate rooms to sleep in and there’s a television.

He hears R practicing her flute and Q lets him know that she’d always wanted to play but money had been tight growing up so she’d started at university, once Q could afford to buy her one.

Neither of them talk about their parents and there are no pictures of them anywhere in the flat. Just them and their friends. All he’s managed to glean is that they weren’t put into care but how they stayed out of it and where they lived is not something he wants to pry about.

James pretty much goes to work when they do, allows medical to put him through his paces, lets Tanner hold meetings with him, talks with Mallory, and tells the therapist to fuck off.

The latter lands him in a meeting with Mallory.

“Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Bond, as far as I’m concerned, as long as no one outside our circle is present, you always have permission.”

“He’s a useless waste of space paid to sit in his chair and tick boxes knowing full-well the agents are lying through their teeth in order to stay in the field.”

Mallory nods his agreement. “And that’s not what you want?”

“Something you said stuck with me; why not stay dead?”

“Bond, at the time I had no idea what M was having to do to keep this place on its feet, I apologise.”

James shrugs. “No need. I don’t want to stay dead, as you put it, I’d like to live.”

Mallory narrows his eyes but it’s a careful, considered expression. 

“I’ve never been an agent here, James. I almost took a position once, but that doesn’t matter now, so I don’t know what it’s like out there.”

“You’ve still seen service.”

Mallory nods. “And was dismissed on medical grounds, full honours but I knew then and I know now, I couldn’t do what you do day after day.”

“Sir?”

“Find a therapist, whoever you want, I’ll see about hiring them. But, James…”

“Keep my options open?”

“Yes.”

***

The funeral is awful. 

So many people standing around looking sad. There are some family, near the front but James and the other members of MI6 split themselves up around the place.

Felix sits with him, Q, and R as well. Eve and Mallory, Tanner, and a couple of M’s immediate staff sat a few rows apart.

James spaces out and barely remembers to stand. He’s glad it’s so much brighter in here than the chapel on his family's estate. But M is already gone, gone and with her husband in whatever lies beyond.

***

James’ flat is actually ready and furnished with as much of his things as possible far faster than he expected. Q has set his security system up himself but hasn’t really pushed James to move out.

It does mean Felix can stay with him.

Q and R come down to eat with them, James wanting company to distract him, but he ends up sat on a familiar chair staring out a view he’s used to being slightly more elevated instead of going to bed.

“I like them, by the way. Your Q and R.”

“Good. So do I.”

Felix hands James a beer and sits across from him. “How’re you holding up?”

James blinks at him as he comes back to himself.

“I’m not sure.”

“Understandable.”

“Felix…”

His friend shakes his head. “Do you know why I took my promotion?”

“Aside from the fact your boss was an incompetent fuck, figuratively. I know you have better taste than that.”

Felix’s eyebrow raised in agreement. “I realised I’d become more useful higher up the ladder. And I wanted to make sure no one else was treating their position as a bargaining chip with dictators.”

“Is there a point to this?”

“I know you had to come back to fix this last mess with Silva, but you don’t have to go back out on missions again if you don’t want to.”

“And do what?”

“Run the Double O program.”

“That’s M’s job, once we have another one.”

Felix frowns. “That’s a lot of work for one person, to run MI6 and the Double O program.”

James gives him a look that he hopes conveys ‘No shit,’ strongly.

“Suggest it to Mallory, then.”

“You’re serious aren’t you.”

His friend laughs. “Yes, James, I am. Other people can step into the field in your place but you’d benefit the service elsewhere. It would also benefit you.”

He looks away. “You know that’s not really important to the country.”

Felix shrugs. “James, look at me.” He does. “You came back and saved them, with help, but you were at the forefront. You’ve lost someone close to you and that’s going to take some time, but they owe you.”

“Does it matter how close she was to me when she only saw me as an agent?”

The abrupt shock on Felix’s face would be comical if they were discussing something else.

“Is this about shooting you?”

“No. That was a calculated risk in the field.”

“Then what?”

James takes a deep breath and gathers his words in the silence.

“On the drive up I’d thought that maybe, maybe we could talk about things, the postcard I know she received. I found it in her flat on her desk when I got back.

“I wanted to have a real conversation, I wanted there to be something beneath the harsh caring and the barked orders. I thought it was tough love for her wayward agents.  
I’d even come to think of her as family.” James swallows and puts down his beer. “But there was nothing. The veneer didn’t crack. And I know it could have been spoken out of fear, out of anger and frustration and she probably didn’t mean it like that but.” He thinks he might be out of words.

“But it hurt like hell anyway.” Felix regards James carefully. “Maybe she was so used to acting one way she couldn’t stop herself.”

“Maybe. Or she really was a stone-cold bitch who sent me out into the field when I’d failed all my tests because we both knew I was the only one who stood a chance against Silva and if I died the whole fucking country was screwed.”

“Do you believe that?”

“No. I think with time, Q would have taken him down remotely. Might have taken longer but we’d have gotten him.”

“As true as all this may be, have you considered that it’s the grief talking? Your M is dead and it doesn’t matter what she thought or felt or didn’t feel. You’re still alive and you have a right to feel about it however the hell you do.”

“Felix…”

“No, James. She’s dead and that can’t be changed. If she was family to you and you lost her then you have a right to grieve. And you should know, while we’re on that subject, that when I call you brother I mean it. Maybe not in the very beginning but you’re my family.”

James, who has tears in his eyes he’s currently pretending he doesn’t, tries a small smile. “And you’re mine.” He swallows around the lump in his throat. “That’s why I couldn’t let you think I was dead.”

“I appreciated it more than you know.” He huffs. “Or maybe you do.”

James nods, picks up his beer again and they drink in silence.

***

Q and R help him unpack his kitchen.

Being dead meant he’d chosen what to keep and discard of his old life, his books and photos he’d kept, and whatever books he had but the rest, besides clothes already collected, was destroyed on his orders.

Once R heads back upstairs Q comes to stand next to James. It’s been a week since the funeral.

“What do you need?” he asks gently and James looks from his arms to his face in question.

Q, with a soft, sad smile, brings him into a hug and holds him for a long time.

***

A month or so later finds him in M’s office.

“It’s an excellent idea, and your country does owe you. I’ll put it to them and with you onboard it might assuage them of the notion they need to merge us with Five,” Mallory tells him, now that he is officially M.

“Sir?”

“Ask Q about Max Denbigh. He’s next in line to be C and, well, there’s at least one word that comes to mind that fits him.”

Bond nods, smirking. “Sir.”

“Give we’re going to be working closely together you can call me Mallory or Gareth, but I’ve gotten so used to the former it feels like my first name.”

“Mallory, then. What happens to my title?”

“007? I’d prefer you kept it. Let our enemies think you’re still out there, I’m not much inclined to tell our friends unless it comes up. Myself and Moneypenny will spare you the bullshit so you can get on with it.”

Mallory stands and offers James his hand. He takes it and feels… something between pride and relief as he does.

***

James knocks on the door to Q and R’s flat.

“You can use your key,” Q tells him as he opens the door.

“I know, but I’ve spent all week knocking on your office door. Force of habit.”

He slips his shoes off and makes his way into their front room. The space where he’d lived for a couple of weeks now houses an electric piano, music stand, and what he knows to be R’s flute case on a pile of music books.

“Wasn’t any trouble to store it in my room while you were here.”

“Good,” James says. “Is R in?”

“No, she’s… I think she’s out with Mallory but in all honesty, I’m not sure. Only where she is and when she’ll be back.”

“Okay. Well, you can tell or later, or I can if she comes back in.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes. I only wanted to give you an update.”

“Coffee?”

“Please.” James had politely refused to take the coffee maker, in part because he has one but it makes a good reason to come up here. Q hadn’t exactly argued and looked somewhat relieved at the time.

Once they’re settled on the sofa with coffee and tea, James turns to Q.

“I had a meeting with Mallory this morning about something I’ve been thinking over for a while. That and Eve gave me this on Friday.” He pulls the porcelain bulldog Olivia Mansfield had left for him from his pocket and hands it to Q.

“Ah.” Q puts down his tea and turns it over in his hand. “Do you know why?”

“Before all this I think so, but now I’m not so sure. She either wants me to carry on fighting the good fight in the field, or get a desk job; not that I can picture her ever suggesting that.”

Q hmms - a sound that could either be agreement or pondering.

“Or maybe it’s because no matter what befalls MI6 you survive, even when the odds are against you.”

James smiles at him and accepts it back. “There is that. I had R scan it for me just in case she’d hidden a message inside it or something but there isn’t.” He’d half wondered if there would be; if there was anything else she’d wanted to say or impart to him.

He thinks now the solidarity she’d felt with him is because she thought they were the same with regards to their dedication to Queen and country. Mallory had once accused her of being soft on James but it was only because he got the job done. He knows now that he wanted her to think of him as a wayward son.

He puts it on the side table and turns back to Q.

“I’ve spoken to Felix, and the therapist Mallory arranged, and I’ve come to some… decisions about my future.”

“Alright,” Q prompts gently, clearly nervous.

“M knows and it’s all been made official, quietly for now, but that’s because of what we have planned.” He grins. “I’m going to take the new position of head of the Double O program at MI6. Mallory will oversee everything as M but it’ll take some of the pressure from him and allow things to run more efficiently.”

Q has an odd look on his face. “Does this mean you’ll have to attend the same heads-of-department meetings I’m forced to?”

James laughs. “Not what I thought you’d say but I imagine so, yes.”

Q sits back against the sofa. “James, that’s… are you sure it’s what you want?”

“Yes. It is. Just needed some time to… adapt my way of thinking about things.”

Q is biting his lip when James next looks up from his coffee. “What?” he asks.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea, some of the up-and-coming agents could do with your insight and your adaptability.”

“But?”

Q shakes his head. “The but isn’t about your decision, at all. And I don’t think it’s my place to ask what I want to.” He looks away to compose himself.

“Q?”

Q’s throat bobs as he swallows. “What happened?” he asks quiet and unsure.

“I wanted to be more than a blunt instrument.”

“You are. Hasn’t the point always been to make you seem that way so people assume?”

James shrugs. “Depends on who you ask. And I can’t deny I’ve been… reckless in the past.”

“Well, no. There are several embassies you’ve seen fit to…. demolish.”

He feels his mouth curl into a smile. “True.”

“But if you do enough of that no one expects you to be clever. And you are, I’ve seen your record and noticed things I’m not sure others will.”

“That’s why I’m taking the new position. Felix made a point that we’d have done better with people to teach us a few tricks instead of hoping we’d figure them out for ourselves. Granted, for me, that was because most agents are killed before they can train others.

“I want to change that.”

“Good.” Q smiles at him. “We’ll be doing what we can in Q Branch to support you for similar reasons, so I’m sure there’s some weapons testing in it for you as well.”

“I hope so.”

It makes Q giggle and James is suddenly overcome with fondness for him; lovely, wonderful, tenacious man that he is.

He lets silence fall between them.

“How well did you know M?” James finally asks.

“Not very. She seemed to know a lot about me when she promoted me. I suspect she’d read my whole file whilst looking for the next Q. Not for lack of trying, by the way, there were a few times I’d cc’d her into emails to my predecessor about various issues and things but it never amounted to much. I was just trying to make it known I was trying my best - a lot of others in Q Branch did the same.”

“Mallory said she was holding things together by sheer force of will against the government’s budget cuts and interference.”

“She was. He asked me to decrypt some files to take a look at and it was bad even before the inquiry. I don’t think she knew who to ask for help.”

“She knew I was alive and where to find me.”

“Maybe she wanted to spare you?” Q suggests.

“I don’t know. Or she thought I was abandoning the cause.”

James catches Q’s shrug out of the corner of his eye. “Maybe she should have asked you.”

“Sometimes I hear her voice in my head judging me,” James admits quietly.

“Given how closely you worked together and how often she chewed you out over the coms I’m not surprised by that. But it doesn’t matter what she would have said to you; your life is your own. And if it wasn’t, it has been since the moment you decided to return.”

“Which time?”

“Both.”

“Q, I’m not used to my life being my own.”

“Give it time.”

***

“Here.” Q - whose repertoire of savory cooking is limited to noodle and pasta-based dishes - puts a plate of pesto-pasta with roasted bell peppers in front of James at the breakfast counter. He grabs his own, then pours them both glasses of apple and mango fruit juice.

It’s the sort of thing he used to only cook for himself and R but since he realised James wouldn’t judge him for his lack of kitchen skills, he’s made it for him too.

“Is it a good thing R is still with Mallory?” James asks.

“I… honestly don’t know. I hope so. There isn’t really anything in the rules against a relationship between the two of them and Tanner is her direct report, so to speak, so it’s up to them.”

“Q?” He makes a noise of agreement. “Could you let me know when you’d be okay with… moving things forward? I don’t want to assume and this way I won’t.”

Q nods slowly. “I almost wish you’d said something before I made dinner.” James’ eyes flash to his so Q smiles at him warmly. “I mean it. I know two months may not seem like enough for a lot of people but it’s enough to see you’re more settled. And I’ve had time to learn that not only are you competent and attractive, I enjoy spending time with you at work and outside of it.” He puts his hand atop James’s on the table. “I could order dessert?”

James grins, his eyes shining with things Q can’t quite name. “Sounds good.”

***

They snuggle on the couch watching something or other when they hear R come in.

She sees them and smiles but it’s immediately clear she’s been crying.

They’re both up and walking towards her before she can shake her head.

“I’m fine. They’re not sad tears,” she explains, letting Q put his arms around her and leaning into her brother.

James rubs her back. “You sure I don’t need to sort someone out?”

R chuckles, then her breath hitches so she wipes her eyes. “No. I’m just overwhelmed, that’s all. And I only came up to grab some things and let you know. I’ll be staying at Gareth’s overnight.”

“His flat or the house?”

“The house.”

James looks between them both confused.

“I set up his security system,” Q explains. Then turns back to his sister. “Given I know you both have tomorrow and the weekend off, what are the actual chances of you being home tomorrow?” he asks R.

“I’m not sure but I’ll call you before midday.”

Q lets her go. “Alright. I’ll leave you to your packing.”

She scoots off to her room whilst Q and James look at each other.

“Good evening all round then, by the looks of it,” James says, leaning on the wall in the hallway they both seem to be waiting in until R returns.

Q slides down opposite him, enough that their feet intersect in the middle of the hallway.

“If he hurts her I’m going to want to rip his throat out,” Q says in a whisper.

“Is that Q talking or her older brother?”

“The latter, obviously.”

“Why do I get the feeling I’ll be getting that talk from R?”

She comes back out at that point.

“You won’t, James. Don’t worry. You’re family enough - in a non-incestuous way, obviously - that I know you won’t hurt my brother deliberately. Try not to accidentally, please. Same goes for you,” she says looking at Q. “And Gareth knows what he faces if he messes with me.” There’s a light in her eyes that leaves James just a bit unsettled but Q appears reassured.

Then he catches on to the fact that she referred to him as family so casually, just like Eve and Mallory had those weeks ago - and since.

Luckily she takes his silence for agreement and hugs them both before heading out of the door.

James goes back to the living room and looks out the window, watching her get into Mallory’s car with a smile, turning to wave up at him before she shuts the door.

Q stands next to him, sliding an arm around his waist and tucking himself into James’ side when his arm is wrapped around his shoulders.

“You know you don’t have to talk about it, but you can.”

“I’m not used to this.” He squeezes Q’s shoulder. “To having… people around me who care and who I care about. Or being James without everything else that entails.”

“That’s understandable, given your time at MI6.”

“And the Navy, and boarding school. The only thing I did for myself was choose my degree.”

“Your language skills are excellent,” Q agrees.

“I didn’t see another path for me and I liked the adventure, the adrenalin, and the sex.”

Q chuckles but muffles it against his chest.

“Before Vesper, it was fun, after Vesper, it was to escape, then it was for the enjoyment of it again… or to give someone peace on their last night on earth,” he tells him, his voice rough with emotion. “I know I’m a smug bastard sometimes but I’m good at what I do and if the higher-ups didn’t like it they could have fired me a hundred times over but they gave me the license to kill. I think they were waiting for me to put myself out of my misery and move on to the next agent.”

“You’re people too, all of you.”

“Not to them.”

“You are to me. And R, the rest of Q Branch too.”

“I know. Mallory feels the same, as do Eve and Tanner. Medical has been trying to force the government's hand for proper post-mission care but they’d been denied for years. Stitch them up and send them out.”

“That’s always bothered me,” Q admits. “On one hand they say they don’t need Double Os, but on the other all you hear is that ‘we’re at war’ and soldiers don’t have time to do anything but fight. It’s a repugnant attitude.”

James turns his head and nuzzle’s Q’s hair. “That’s part of why I took the job.”

“Do you think they’ll realise?”

James shrugs. “Doesn’t matter one way or the other. I can’t change the nature of their job but I can make them better equip to reach retirement and want to.”

Q flinches but he’s seen the statistics.

“You can stay here tonight if you like,” he offers.

“You sure?”

“James, We can sleep in the same bed without it turning into sex,” he says seriously. “And if things naturally happen they happen. Personally I’m exhausted.”

“Me too. Sleep, then.”

“Yes.”

***  
They have breakfast over the same counter, sharing kisses and fond touches.

"Is there anything you want to do today?" Q asks, pressing a quick kiss to James' cheek before filling the kettle and putting it back on.

"Not particularly no, what were you thinking?"

"Napping with the cats?" He sorts out his next cup of tea and refills James' coffee. "With you as well, if you like?"

"Sounds good."

Q brings their drinks into his bedroom, placing them both on James' side as it's closest to the door, and getting back into bed; fresh day-pajamas already on. 

James pauses by the door, watching him.

Q gives him a questioning look but James shakes his head and joins him in bed, immediately bringing Q into his arms. The cats are on them in seconds but neither mind.

"Are you alright?" Q asks.

James removes Q's glasses and places them safely on the bedside table. "I'm fine," he says, kissing him.

He can't find the words yet but he's sure he will, in time, because he's realised what home is supposed to feel like; what the warmth in his chest has been trying to tell him for months.

He has a family and, at last, he's home.


End file.
